In the high-stakes arena of American politics, image is everything. A single awkward handshake, a misplaced word, or an ill-fitting suit can derail a campaign. But for J.D. Vance, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, the threat isn’t just coming from his political opponents—it is coming from late-night television. In a blistering segment that has since gone viral, host Jimmy Kimmel unleashed a torrent of mockery aimed squarely at Vance, exposing what he termed the politician’s “dirty secrets” and cementing Vance’s status as a “national punchline.”

The feud between the late-night titan and the Ohio Senator is not new, but recent broadcasts have seen the hostility escalate to unprecedented levels. Kimmel, known for his sharp wit and refusal to pull punches, has zeroed in on Vance with a precision that critics call devastating and supporters call bullying. The latest salvo involved a multi-pronged attack on Vance’s authenticity, his appearance, and his ability to interact with everyday Americans.

The “Donut Shop” Disaster

At the center of Kimmel’s ridicule is a specific event that has dogged the Vance campaign: a visit to a donut shop in Georgia that went spectacularly wrong. The original footage showed Vance struggling to make small talk with employees, resulting in a stilted and uncomfortable exchange that quickly became meme fodder.

Kimmel didn’t just replay the clip; he amplified it. Bringing on actor Haley Joel Osment to impersonate Vance, the show staged a parody that was nearly indistinguishable from reality. Osment, donning a beard and heavy makeup, recreated the “robotic” nature of the interaction.

“I mean to interrupt your business,” Osment-as-Vance deadpanned in the sketch, mimicking the Senator’s awkward entrance. The parody highlighted Vance’s non-specific order of “whatever makes sense,” a line that Kimmel argued showed a fundamental disconnection from normal human behavior.

“The mainstream media wants you to think I’m weird,” the character lamented in the sketch, leaning into the very label that Democrats have successfully affixed to the Republican ticket. By blurring the lines between the actual event and the satire, Kimmel reinforced the narrative that Vance is simply incapable of casual, authentic human connection.

“Vice President Maybelline”

Perhaps the most personal and stinging of Kimmel’s attacks has been the relentless focus on Vance’s physical appearance—specifically, his eyes. For months, social media has buzzed with speculation that the Senator wears eyeliner to enhance his lashes. While Vance’s wife, Usha, has publicly stated that his lashes are “all-natural,” the rumor has taken on a life of its own, largely thanks to Kimmel.

Dubbing him “Vice President Maybelline,” Kimmel has made the eyeliner jokes a recurring segment staple. In the recent parody, Osment’s makeup was exaggerated to comic effect, with smudged, heavy liner drawing immediate attention.

“Last time I checked, your ratings are somewhere between a hair in your salad and chlamydia,” Vance retorted in a clip shown by Kimmel, attempting to hit back at the host. But Kimmel’s response was to double down, using the “eyeliner obsession” to paint Vance as vain and performative.

“I’m not the one who’s going to be doing mascara tutorials on YouTube in three and a half years,” Kimmel quipped, a line that reportedly enraged the Vance camp.

The “Couch” Controversy

No takedown of J.D. Vance would be complete without addressing the “couch” rumor—a baseless but viral internet theory claiming Vance’s memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, contained a graphic passage about a piece of furniture. Despite the rumor being debunked (no such passage exists), it has become a shorthand for mocking Vance on the left.

Kimmel has ruthlessly kept this joke alive. During his monologue, he referenced the viral sensation, joking that Vance “hasn’t been under a microscope like this since his wife asked him why the couch was so sticky.”

While some argue that harping on a false rumor is below the belt, Kimmel uses it to illustrate a broader point about Vance’s “weirdness.” The sketch with Osment ended with the character giving advice on how to be intimate with furniture, a crude but effective way of ensuring the humiliating association remains fresh in the public consciousness.

A “Phony” Persona?

Beyond the specific jokes about donuts and makeup, the core of Kimmel’s critique is that J.D. Vance is fundamentally “phony.” The segment juxtaposed Vance’s self-styled image as a working-class Appalachian hero with his reality as a Yale Law graduate funded by Silicon Valley billionaires.

Kimmel argued that Vance’s awkwardness stems from this inauthenticity. He portrayed Vance as a man playing a character he doesn’t quite understand—a “petulant little baby” who craves attention but lacks the charisma to hold it.

The host also took aim at Vance’s defense of Donald Trump, particularly regarding threats to censorship. When news broke that Trump allies might target late-night shows for “fairness,” Vance dismissed the concerns as people being unable to take a joke. Kimmel used this to paint Vance as a hypocrite who cries foul when attacked but laughs off threats to free speech when they benefit his boss.

The Fallout

The impact of this relentless mockery is hard to quantify, but in the age of viral clips, it is undeniably damaging. Kimmel’s segments rack up millions of views, far outpacing typical cable news segments. For many voters, their primary exposure to J.D. Vance is not through his policy speeches, but through the lens of comedians like Kimmel who frame him as “weird,” “creepy,” and “awkward.”

As the feud continues, Vance finds himself in a difficult position. Responding to the attacks risks elevating them further, while ignoring them allows the “weird” narrative to fester. For now, Jimmy Kimmel seems to have the upper hand, wielding comedy as a weapon to expose what he calls the “dirty secrets” of a candidate struggling to define himself on the national stage.

Whether Vance can shake the “Vice President Maybelline” moniker remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: as long as Jimmy Kimmel has a microphone, J.D. Vance will not be getting a free pass.