In the cyclical theater of American politics, a familiar script plays out every four years: as a contentious election approaches, a chorus of high-profile celebrities and social media influencers announces their plans to flee the country if the “wrong” candidate wins. It is a dramatic gesture, intended to signal moral superiority and deep despair. However, HBO host Bill Maher has officially had enough of the theatrics. In a recent segment that is tearing through social media, Maher delivered a scathing, fact-filled “roast” of those who threaten to pack their bags but never actually leave.

The “Empty Threats” Hall of Fame

Maher kicked off his monologue by pulling up the receipts on some of the biggest names in entertainment. He reminded his audience of Miley Cyrus, who famously declared in 2016 that she would move if Donald Trump became president, asserting, “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

“Here she is looking miserable having to endure America at the Grammys last Sunday,” Maher quipped sarcastically, showing a photo of the pop star looking glamorous and successful in Los Angeles. “I guess she flew back from Tajikistan.”

He didn’t stop there. The comedian targeted comedian Eddie Griffin, who had vowed to move to Africa, and George Lopez, who said he wouldn’t have to worry about immigration laws because he’d “go back” if Republicans won. “Surprise, he’s still here, still working, still making money,” Maher noted. The core of Maher’s critique was simple but devastating: these threats are almost never about genuine fear or political conviction. Instead, he argued, they are “drama for likes and clicks,” a performative outrage designed to garner applause from a specific social bubble.

A Global Perspective Check

The segment quickly pivoted from celebrity gossip to a more serious critique of the modern American “victimhood” narrative. Maher took aim at the growing trend on platforms like TikTok, where young users film themselves claiming they have “escaped” the United States or describing the country as a “dystopian nightmare.”

With characteristic bluntness, Maher offered a geography lesson on what actual oppression looks like. He contrasted the complaints of American liberals—often centered around political disagreements or social issues—with the harsh realities of life in authoritarian regimes.

“Where do they even think they’re going to go?” Maher asked. “Russia? Where referring to the war in Ukraine as a war can get you 15 years in prison?” He rattled off a list of terrifying alternatives: China, where the death penalty applies to nearly 50 different crimes; Uganda, where homosexuality is punishable by death; and Venezuela, where government criticism lands you in jail.

“Their idea of suffering is missing an award show or not winning an Oscar,” Maher joked, before twisting the knife. “Do you think America’s evil because we didn’t nominate Margot Robbie? Just wait until you get thrown out the window of your very own dreamhouse.”

The Immigrant Paradox

Perhaps the most potent point of the broadcast was Maher’s highlight of a glaring contradiction in the progressive worldview. He pointed out that the same people who describe America as a racist, irredeemable hellscape are often the most vocal advocates for increased immigration.

“If this place was such a nightmare… then why do millions of people risk their lives just to come here?” Maher asked. He painted a vivid picture of people crossing oceans, crawling under fences, and waiting years for a mere chance at the American Dream. He noted that you don’t see crowds sneaking into North Korea or fleeing to countries where women’s clothing is policed by the state.

“The wall isn’t to keep you in,” he reminded the “quitters,” noting that no one is forcing unhappy citizens to stay. The fact that millions want in while the privileged want “out” (but never leave) proves, in his view, that the “America sucks” narrative is fundamentally flawed.

Real Patriotism Means Staying

While Maher admitted that the United States has serious flaws—citing low rankings in infant mortality and literacy compared to some other nations—he drew a sharp line between criticism and abandonment. He argued that the attitude of threatening to leave is the opposite of helpfulness.

“We don’t need quitters. We need people who will stay and fix it,” he declared. He compared the celebrity posturing to “entitled whiners” who have lost all perspective on how fortunate they are to live in a country where they can criticize the government freely, marry who they want, and pursue their careers without fear of state execution.

The segment concluded with a call for resilience. Real love for one’s country, Maher suggested, isn’t about waving a flag when things are easy. It’s about sticking around when things get messy, fighting for improvement, and realizing that despite the noise on Twitter, the United States remains a beacon for millions around the globe.

For the celebrities and influencers who treat their citizenship like a subscription they can cancel, Maher’s message was loud and clear: You’re still here because you know it’s the best deal you’re going to get. Now, maybe it’s time to stop complaining and start appreciating it.