Hoda Kotb has finally explained the reason why she ended her engagement with Joel Schiffman after nearly a decade: “Everything before was a lie…” — and the truth behind it has left everyone stunned.

New York, NY – Hoda Kotb has finally lifted the veil on one of the most speculated personal journeys of her life: the end of her engagement to financier Joel Schiffman. After nearly a decade together and a public engagement that began in November 2019, Kotb delivered a bombshell statement: “Everything before was a lie…” As the TODAY anchor shared her side of the story, the revelation has left fans and observers stunned—and empathetic.

The Backstory: A Nearly 10-Year Journey

Kotb and Schiffman first began dating around 2013, meeting at a Wall Street event that Kotb had initially been reluctant to attend. Their relationship, mostly kept private until she felt it could withstand media scrutiny, grew deeper over time. In February 2017, Kotb announced the adoption of their daughter, Haley Joy, and again in April 2019, announced they’d welcomed Hope Catherine – both via Kotb’s TODAY appearances.

The couple became engaged in November 2019 during a romantic, intimate beachside dinner. Their joyful announcement lit up social media as Kotb proudly showcased her ring. Though a destination wedding was planned for November 2020, the COVID‑19 pandemic postponed their nuptials ﹣ a common sacrifice in that unusual time.

Graceful Amidst Growing Tensions

On January 31, 2022, Kotb made a bittersweet announcement on TODAY: she and Schiffman would not be married after all, choosing instead to remain friends and co‑parents . Rather than pointing to a dramatic event, Kotb emphasized that “it’s not like something happened”—their decision stemmed from heartfelt, “prayerful and meaningful conversations” during the holidays . She invoked a poignant phrase: “Sometimes relationships are meant to be there for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime… ours was meant to be there for a season”.

Kotb’s dignified handling of the breakup won her widespread admiration. Fellow TODAY alum Kathie Lee Gifford appeared on the show to express her pride, praising Kotb for the grace and kindness she demonstrated during a deeply personal moment .

“Everything Was a Lie…” Behind the Bombshell Statement

Fast forward to August 2024, and Kotb made another revealing appearance—this time on The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast. With surprising candor, she stated, “Everything before was a lie…,” hinting that beneath the surface, the relationship had not been as harmonious as it appeared .

Sharing more context, she reflected that though both she and Schiffman are “great human beings,” relationships require more than individual goodness—they demand alignment. She explained that one of the foundational reasons for their breakup was personal growth occurring at different times and in divergent directions: “growing at two different paces” makes it “hard to be in sync”.

“In a lot of these situations, one person is growing, or wants it one way, and the other wants it another way,” Kotb elaborated. That gap in spiritual, emotional, or lifestyle growth, she now believes, formed the invisible wedge between them—even when everything looked perfect on the outside.

A Healing Journey and Newfound Authenticity

Kotb’s reflections on the breakup are shaped by her own path of personal transformation. At 60, she describes herself as being in tune with her authenticity for the first time: “For the first time in my life… I am me—not the version that you might want”. When she envisions future love, she doesn’t picture someone who fits a checklist, but someone whose soul resonates with hers .

She noted with quiet confidence that although romance is close on the horizon, she won’t rush. “I have space for a Friday night,” she added with a wry smile—signaling openness without desperation .

Kotb also expressed gratitude for everything the relationship produced—notably, the two daughters she and Schiffman lovingly co-parent. She admitted she might not have adopted them alone, acknowledging Schiffman’s unwavering support through those life-changing decisions.

Life After the Split: Co‑Parenting with Respect

Despite the end of their romantic partnership, Kotb and Schiffman have remained on peaceful terms. They celebrated Father’s Day together in June 2024, showcasing their commitment to raising Haley Joy and Hope Catherine amicably . Operating with a structured weekly routine—one parent having the girls one day, the other the next—they keep a family-first mentality that puts the children’s needs above everything else .

What Her Admission Means Now

Kotb’s confession—“everything before was a lie”—is not a dramatic indictment, but a deeply human acknowledgment that love, even at its best, can change. She hasn’t blamed Schiffman; quite the opposite: she continues to call him “one of the best people I know” . Instead, she’s urged others to see the courage in admitting something didn’t work—not as failure, but as growth.

For many, her journey resonates as a reminder that timing, personal evolution, and authentic self-awareness matter as much as love and intentions. As Kotb puts it, love might be on its way, but being aligned—with life, with one’s own truth—is the real foundation.

Looking Forward: A Life Fully Embraced

Now, stepping lightly into her 60s, Kotb is embracing a new season of life—with confidence, clarity, and hope. She’s reentered the dating world thoughtfully, choosing simplicity over complexity and self‑reflection over romanticizing the past . Meanwhile, her devotion to her daughters and her openness about their journey continues to inspire audiences around the world.

In essence, Kotb’s revelation isn’t a sensationalized confession—it’s a deeply personal reminder that life’s greatest transitions often come without fanfare, and that sometimes the bravest path forward is simply being honest.