The Character & Setup

Conway plays an ancient, slow-moving gentleman with white hair, a rumpled suit, a droning voice and a shuffle so leisurely it seems like it happens in slow motion. Here he is thrown into fast-paced scenarios: orders at a food stand, directing traffic, repairing a clock, examining a patient. The humor lies in the mismatch: the world runs fast; he runs at geological pace.

In the excerpt you shared, we see him at a food stall (or some kind of counter) ordering a hot dog and milkshake — but because “the oldest man” actually means everything takes twice as long, the simplest order becomes a hilarious ordeal. He can’t remember what he wants, the server (played by the straight man) is trying his best to keep up, and Conway treats the whole scene with solemn dignity.

Scene Highlights & Slapstick Gold

He asks where the post office is, then switches course mid-conversation to ordering food. The confusion is comic gold because Conway’s face stays serious while his choices keep changing.

When asked to remember a hot dog and chocolate shake, he replies with full confidence, “I’ve got a mind like a steel trap… locked in there.” And then immediately blunders. That kind of delivery — big statement, immediate collapse — is pure Conway.

The cashier/server grows exasperated. “You mean you can’t remember a simple order like that?” The audience already knows the answer.

The hot dog is prepared, but emerges looking like “a record” or something unrecognizably distorted. He sees it, he reacts. The long, slow sigh or exasperated pause becomes funnier than any punchline.

Then the milkshake order: “Chocolate or vanilla?” He picks vanilla… and then discovers a blob of mashed potatoes in the shake. The slow realization, the “wait a minute” moment — that’s the payoff.

Finally, a medical-type faux-doctor scene: he’s got some sort of complaint (his body, his watch, everything seems broken). He’s being treated by someone who eventually says “I’m a pediatrician” and he—an old grown man—says “I’m not a baby!” The absurdity stacks on top of absurdity, and you can’t help but laugh.

Why It Works So Damn Well

Timing & pace: Unlike rapid-fire jokes, this sketch thrives on delay. The slower it goes, the more you anticipate the next screw-up. Conway uses pauses, mis-steps, glances, shuffle-walks to build tension—and laughter.

Straight-man partner: The frustration of the server, of the “doctor,” of the situation is played by someone trying to maintain normalcy. That contrast amplifies the humor.

Relatability: At some level, we’ve all done something simple and turned it into a catastrophe — ordered the wrong thing, slipped up in front of someone important, felt utterly incompetent. Conway takes that kernel and digs it into full-on slapstick.

Physical comedy: Not just in words, but posture, movement, facial expressions. The “Oldest Man” shuffles, he hesitates, he fumbles — every gesture is exaggerated. According to sources, the character even originated from Conway’s own memory of moving slowly after a back-injury.

Unexpected escalation: What starts as an order of hot dog and shake ends up with mashed potatoes in a milkshake, a “pediatrician doctor,” and full chaos. The path to absurdity is gradual but sure.

A Few Iconic Lines (Paraphrased for Effect)

“I’d like a hot dog and a chocolate shake please…”
“What’s a hot bag?”
“Give me some fries…”
“What about the rest of these order? A hot dog and chocolate shake!”
“That’s mashed potatoes… I’ll have to charge you for the BL special.”
“You’re a pediatrician! I’m a grown-up!”

Each line sounds simple, but the delivery matters: pauses, mispronunciations, shifting posture. The audience can sense the server’s mounting frustration. The “Oldest Man” remains oblivious yet earnest.

Why It’s Still a Comedy Classic

Even decades later, that slow-crawl chaos is timeless. Because our lives still have moments when we should move fast, but something inside us moves like molasses. Watching Conway drag himself through the simplest task and still behave like he’s doing something important is a delight.

In the world of sketch comedy, where speed and one-liners often reign, the “Oldest Man” reminds us that taking something simple, stretching it out, and committing to it completely can be even funnier.

Final Verdict

If you see Conway shuffle across the set, bite his lip as the hot dog arrives, peek at the milkshake suspiciously, and then somehow end up questioning his medical care like a man confronted by a toddler’s doctor — know this: you’re witnessing comedic perfection.

The next time you mess up a simple order or feel slow compared to everyone else, remember: Conway’s already been there, done that, and made it hysterically funny.